{May 26, 2012}   Va bene

Once a month for about three days i take time to stay in bed for that whole amount of time.
Yes, you heard me, i don’t go out. I watch movies and listen to music. Thats what i do. Phone switched off or on silent and just me and my thoughts.

Today, day one of discovery. I found out i am a hand full when in comes to relationships. I really am not normal about them and although I have the best girl friend behaviour, not clingy or too jealous. So whats wrong then?

I was wondering the same thing and since none of my friends could give me the a clear opinion, I went to my ex, the one who I know would tell me the truth just because he despises me that much. What did i ever do to him you ask? Nothing, exactly that.

He confirmed what i already thought. I am lousy at relationships. And I have to admit, a part of me wanted to curse at him but I did specify i wanted the outer truth and I did approach him with the question.
So yes, I am terrible at relationships, but so what. I think I am good at the ones that count. We don’t get awards for the number of relationships you can keep but on keeping the right one. The aware being happiness.

So don’t worry if your relationship isn’t picture perfect. Everything will be “Va bene”.


{April 11, 2011}  

Games we play
He just doesn’t get it.
For some weird reason this guy thinks that I do not have a life and all I think about is him.AAaargh!!It’s so frustrating.
I mean look just because you broke up with me does not mean I have to have a vengeful vendetta against you. When I say we are cool I mean it. You do not need to read too much into that.
Just because I choose to remain single after we broke up and you chose a different path does not mean I am still immersed in you and I can not sleep at night. It just means I value who I spend my time with. I value who I get to know. I do not just go with the flow. It has to feel right first.
Just because you broke up with me it does not mean that we cannot be friends and just hang out. I believe once people have been a couple, they will always be friends if it was true and if they are both civilized and mature people (most people are not the second). If you find yourself unable to have a decent conversation on the world and other things then there is something still lingering about the two of you. You still feel a little something about each other and you need to fix that. Otherwise you should be able to have a good time without kissing and even introduce each other to your new partners as long as it is done out of friendship not spite.
Some people abuse this friendship clause though. They are some aspects you should not disclose to the other. Like how you met, if it implies you cheated and how they are a better kisser than the other. That’s just down right nasty!!! Funny enough, not only teenagers do it but also those adults that are meant to be more mature and wise.
Just because I am happy does not mean that I am just acting that way for the benefit of those around me. Hey, I am allowed to be happy and it is your problem if you find that bothers you because of your own insecurities.
The most painful being, just because I don’t say it or act it does not mean I do not miss you. There could be a hundred things holding you back from saying these words the greatest being that you are afraid of the rejection. Life is therefore so complicated.
Complicated…..No matter how old you are. Matters of the Heart are always a hustle. But they are usually the reason for the many good memories we have. ‘So maybe it aint all bad”. What do you think?

et cetera