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{July 1, 2012}   Shining in the dark

Ever since I got my driving licence I stopped walking. It is not because I now thinking I am above it. I wanted to walk, I just did not have the time.

However, today I walked.I had not a care in the world and just walked with no purpose. Troubles aside. It felt good and natural.

On my way back I bumped into a woman I met during the days I walked. I hadn’t seen her in a year but she remembered me. She could see me even in the dark.

At first I couldn’t place her face but then she refreshed my memory. I had helped her, a year back to carry her groceries. She had been a total stranger to me.Most people would have walked by, and they did. Some even drove by but since I wasn’t driving, I took what little I had and offered it to her. She was pregnant. And although I had places to be, things to do, I paused and thought about how she felt. Empathy.

And she remembered that. She gave me back that one thing I have been trying to stand for but due to heartache and general life, I had forgotten.

Its the little things. Give with what little you have. You never know what a little kindness will do to someone’s life. It will put a smile on their face and one day when you are short of things to smile about, they may suprise you and give you a reason to smile.

Everyone has a trouble just like you. Just one act of kindness will touch their soul.

You will start shining in the dark. Just like the stars.

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{April 30, 2011}   GO ahead

See I am ready.
I have made my mistakes and now I am faced with the consequences.
I was in love once,I thought I was. But then it ended suddenly, without warning.
I was shocked. I honestly spent the first two days not feeling anything but after those two days it hit me that it was actually over. Now I was emotionally disconnected and thought that maybe there was a chance I could get this guy back.i was so wrong but I had to figure this out after making a complete idiot of myself.

Under the advisings of my single best friends who had NEVER been in a situation remotely similar to the one i was in,I persued this guy. I told him how I would never be happy and how he meant the world to me.
Bear in mind all these were lies. He could tell.i am not a very good liar. I couldn’t help but laugh while I said all this stuff as it sounded ridicilous but I had to pretend to cry at the same time. It was hard and I managed to fool him for a few minutes. But then he started comforting me and I couldn’t help it and bust into tears of laughter.
He left soon afterward.
I was a bit sad that it enede this way but then I have realised someting asthey days have slowly rolled by. I might have not tackled that issue appropriately. I made a mistake. But that’s life. I may havenot won that fight,I failed to win him back.Life is about getting back up again and I am happy to say I have gotten back up. So go ahead Miss Cupid(Cupid can only be a woman as women are romantic,right?),I am now ready to see the way to my next Prince.
Thank you for the one you sent before. We had our good times,laughs and fights. I wish we could have stuck it out as I really liked my Prince but I guess he wasn’t the correct one. So now I am waiting, I have given you the go ahead!



{April 11, 2011}  

Games we play
He just doesn’t get it.
For some weird reason this guy thinks that I do not have a life and all I think about is him.AAaargh!!It’s so frustrating.
I mean look just because you broke up with me does not mean I have to have a vengeful vendetta against you. When I say we are cool I mean it. You do not need to read too much into that.
Just because I choose to remain single after we broke up and you chose a different path does not mean I am still immersed in you and I can not sleep at night. It just means I value who I spend my time with. I value who I get to know. I do not just go with the flow. It has to feel right first.
Just because you broke up with me it does not mean that we cannot be friends and just hang out. I believe once people have been a couple, they will always be friends if it was true and if they are both civilized and mature people (most people are not the second). If you find yourself unable to have a decent conversation on the world and other things then there is something still lingering about the two of you. You still feel a little something about each other and you need to fix that. Otherwise you should be able to have a good time without kissing and even introduce each other to your new partners as long as it is done out of friendship not spite.
Some people abuse this friendship clause though. They are some aspects you should not disclose to the other. Like how you met, if it implies you cheated and how they are a better kisser than the other. That’s just down right nasty!!! Funny enough, not only teenagers do it but also those adults that are meant to be more mature and wise.
Just because I am happy does not mean that I am just acting that way for the benefit of those around me. Hey, I am allowed to be happy and it is your problem if you find that bothers you because of your own insecurities.
The most painful being, just because I don’t say it or act it does not mean I do not miss you. There could be a hundred things holding you back from saying these words the greatest being that you are afraid of the rejection. Life is therefore so complicated.
Complicated…..No matter how old you are. Matters of the Heart are always a hustle. But they are usually the reason for the many good memories we have. ‘So maybe it aint all bad”. What do you think?



{January 29, 2011}  

Well life generally sucks. It is never good and when it is all good, you know something is wrong.
Most of my friends are always going wow, you are so happy all the time and I bet your life is sooo perfect.
It never is but I came to a conclusion long ago,in life it all depends on your view.
A great man once side,life is like a dogsled team. If you are not at the lead then the view will never change. It will always be a nasty view. So why not take charge of your life/
Most people think they are in charge but they are not. They let life happen to them. I used to be like that. I would tell myself that wjatever happens haappens. Yet when a decision came I would shy away from it. I would go oh well let me wait and see what happens.
Then I started to take charge. If i wanted something I would say so and ask for it. I did that and my parents got me a new cellphone. A proper sweet and cool phone with everything I wanted.
I then thought well maybe if I elt the decisions flow into my personal life too it may work. And so I would greet any cute guy I saw with the best smile I had. It my darling friends worked.
So in theme with my new year’s resolutions post, Lets do what we wnat when we want. Some thimgs are better not left to chance cause you will end up with something you do no want. It’s better to try and fail than to never try and always fell. THAT”S DEPRESSING!



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